I'm up and watching "Meet the Press". Good way to spend the rest of the day depressed. Elcie was up ahead of me and back to being her sweet self. So am I. It's a brand new day.
I think sometimes I'm a little harder on Elcie than the other two. Certainly I seem to react faster to her transgressions. I love her unconditionally but I'm not doing her any favors by letting her capitalize on her "disability". She's really a good girl, hard working and sweet natured, but sometimes she does try to use it to get away with things that no one else would. She has to understand that the world won't always give way for her and that I won't always be around to run interference. Of course that's true of all kids but a little more so with my Elcie I think. I want so much for her and I know what she's capable of doing (which is much more than we imagined when she was little. So I keep pushing.
I wish I could come up with a better description of cerebral palsy than "handicapped" or "disabled". I've read several but it always sounds as if they're tying the language in knots with euphemisms. Physically challenged? That's not too bad. One teacher tried to ignore her physical challenges altogether and it was Elcie's worst school year ever. She writes slowly, it takes her longer to get from one place to another, her knees don't bend without a lot of work, and there is something missing in her ability to process information. She tires more easily because it takes twice as much physical strength to keep up. Those are things we can't ignore in our eagerness to treat Elcie as just another kid but that teacher certainly tried. It was a year long battle.
We can make sure she is included in everything she can possibly do and that she receives as much help as we can provide to be sure her needs (not necessarily her wants) are met. It's why she's in the choir, why she went to camp, why she takes p.e. right along with her class (with a special teacher once a week to make sure there are activities for her).
The hardest thing is helping without enabling.
More later maybe. Two little ones on strike today so it's just me, Ray, and Elcie. I'm not going to drag them kicking and screaming. They usually like to go but once in a while they'd rather eat dirt. Maybe next Sunday.
(This didn't post, so if it shows up twice, just ignore one of them).
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1 comment:
You are right we have to look at what is going right as much as anything else.
I realized one day that I was getting upset over one of my kid's behaviours and then it hit me, that as behaviours went, this one had been improving all the time and what I was complaining about now was something that 7 months previous I would have prayed to be allowed to deal with because it was so much easier!
Writing and running are two things that help me tame the pain from mountains into molehills. Does it give me perspective? Just help me get it out? Not sure but it does help. So do conversations, long and thoughtful ones like this, that we can have for days and weeks and months at a time. Meandering all over, is a good, good thing.
Ringing bells?
Joyously at church?
Annoyingly, really early in the morning for no real reason.
Pushing doorbells?
I bet it is the first.
Try not to let meet the press get you too down. Most people are pretty good people, right?
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