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Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Be Careful What You Ask For - You May Get It

First things first.

Worried American, below, in case you never found it, is info on the "Pickle" Amendment. He was one of your more celebrated Congressmen - I read his obit earlier this year I think. From Austin - 31 years in the House and very interested in seniors, social security, and pension reform. I gather he was revered in Texas.

Gender neutral - I think I've given up and I'll just apologize in advance for any lack of political correctness on this blog although "L." makes a good case for switching everything to plural and going with "they" or "them".

Cohabiting - Ray and I kid that one of the reasons we married was because "Significant other" was too much of a tongue twister. I don't know. Partner is what some of my same-sex friends call each other (at least until the laws change). The newspapers used to say "long-time companion". Now there's a euphemism for you. I don't care for "lover" because relationships are much more than that.

Elcie enjoyed her first sisterless day. Bounced in, did her homework, ate homemade spaghetti, took a leisurely bath and shampoo, and is now in bed. The early bedtime is her choice. She's on a bus before 7:00 a.m.

Ray and I have cleaned up the kitchen and are washing one load of clothes. It's different with only one chick in the nest. I said to Jay on BB earlier that I'd never admit it to the girls, but the house is almost too quiet. I said "almost".

Tim and I are heading for Sacramento tomorrow if all goes as planned. Our United Methodist California/Nevada Region Bishop is holding an outdoor Communion service celebrating openness and acceptance. She's using a wooden door as the Communion table. You may or may not have heard about the two recent church decisions concerning a lesbian pastor and a gay man who was denied membership. Our Bishops (all of them, I think) disagreed with the powers that be and our Cal/Nev Bishop decided evidently that a letter wasn't enough. She's a lovely Afro-American. The only reason I mention race and gender is that her letter said she knew discrimination first hand, both as black and female and never wanted to see it used against another child of God. I'm paraphrasing but you get the idea. She announced this today - the service is tomorrow noon. Luckily Tim's off tomorrow so it won't be too bad. A little over a hundred miles to Sacto, not as far away as S. F., and a straight shot down our Hwy 99N. (I'll be thinking about you as I drive, Mollie). Tim has his learner's permit (one more time) so if I fade, I might have a second driver. We should be back in time to take Elcie for the pizza party I had planned for her. I'd love to take her to Sacto but she can't miss any more school and I don't think I could convince them that this would be a worthwhile life experience for her.

We'll be going past Lodi which reminds me of my former boss. He told me, with some alarm, that his daughter was stranded there. I started singing "Oh Lord, I'm stuck in Lodi again". He thought I was making it up. (He's from India). I swore I wasn't and made a cassette tape from my treasured CCR album for him. His daughter was fine, btw. I think she attended UC Davis at the time and had car trouble in Lodi on her way to S. F.

I just went back and read over the comments to my question from last night. The general consensus is that a personal blog and a public blog (like BB) are different in some respects and the contributors on BB (or any other) have learned to expect some hatefulness. They don't, however, have to like it and they can delete or even close off comments when things get too out of hand.

It's much less acceptable in personal blogs. I don't think when I first posed the question that I realized there are blogs and then there are blogs. This is a personal blog, BB isn't. Many of my regular visitors have chimed in and all seem to feel that rudeness and personal attacks are wrong no matter which blog they're written to. They also agreed there isn't a whole lot we can do about it. If I didn't want to hear any voice but my own, I'd buy a diary with a lock and key. Hostility sometimes goes with the territory. Thanks to all of you, especially Jen who is a BB contributor and presents her side of the issue. Jen, I still think even on the "controversial" posts, we can disagree vehemently without being horrid (although I've pushed the envelope once or twice). Debate is fun until it turns personal or ugly. Gawdessness is right; there are posts I've given up on because I wasn't convincing anyone and it's not always necessary to have the last word.

I'm going to finish up my T'giving dinner shopping Friday since tomorrow is spoken for. Hams have gone on sale as have frozen Sara Lee pies. I'll make pumpkin and probably Karo pecan; but at buy one-get one, we'll buy the others. I couldn't buy all the fruit and other ingredients at that price and Sara Lee is a good brand. I'll save purchasing (real) whipped cream until day before - those cans aren't safe around here. I hid the olives (second jar) for much the same reason. I'll make the beets after all. My daughter looked wounded when I said I thought I'd skip them this year.

This was a rather one-sided survey since the people who either followed me to Granny from BB or discovered me somehow are not part of what I consider the "lunatic fringe". I'd probably get an entirely different set of answers from others who consider me part of the "lunatic fringe" and have been quick to say so (usually not quite in those words).

Stay safe and well everybody. I'll probably check in tomorrow after I get home.


ipodmomma said...

sounds like a lovely service you'll be at... sending you warm thoughts and a safe driving prayer...

my mom used to sing Stuck in Lodi... that made me smile...

I read something in the paper the other day, about bullying, which isn't 100% related to the blog etiquette thing. that there can be, and must be, room for conlifct and healthy debate. but bullying is about contempt, and that is something we need to work towards turning around. because, when attitudes become something along the lines of comtempt, then that is where real harm can occur...

what really struck me was this: ultimately, the worst that contempt can lead to is genocide...

not that blogs are going that far... :))) it was from an American gal who had written a book about bullying, a former nun who had three kids and lived very close to Columbine High School...

so, I guess what I mean is that we have to be able to express our opinions, without the viciousness that I see so much now in political blogs, and in American politics... that is something Peter and I both notice, how polarized it has become...

religion too... a few years back I was a delgate for a Lutheran Synod here, and had breakfast with a bishop from Oklahoma, who used to be a pastor down in Leeds years ago. we talked about how homosexuality seemed to have become the latest group to feel the sting of descrimination, as racial descrimination was no longer allowed... it seems there has to be some group that doesn't fit, is going to hell, can't be allowed in...

why is this? why this contempt?

I heard on the news that the Rev. Ian Paisley's own daughter is suing him for sexual discrimination... seems she didn't get a job, because she is a woman, or so she claims...

boy, how do I get so off track?

anyways, kids last night we looking around for desserts, and we joked that between Ted's b-day on Sunday and T-day next week, very soon there will be a plethora of sweets.... Ted ended up having honey on toast...

nice for Elcie to have time on her own... and for you and Ray to have a little quiet... :)))

have a beautiful day!!!


Andrea said...

Agree with you both.
Leaving your opinion is one thing, negative is fine as long as it is not personal.
As soon as it gets personal it is no longer an opinion. they have crossed that line and are now bullies and truly awful people.

I love blogging but some have used it to bully in an air of anonamous(can not spell) and how should we control that, or should we. hmm