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Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Now that the hard part is done one more time

Brief (maybe) because it's been a long day and I'm sitting here on pins and needles waiting for a phone to ring.

Ray has been feeling unwell for several days. I came home this afternoon from having lunch with Tim and picking up a few groceries and all seemed well. I lay down for a little while (late afternoons are hard for me sometimes) and I woke up to find Tasha and Jonathan had taken him over to Urgent Care. I'm still waiting to hear something. He had told them not to wake me up and they obeyed. I said next time wake me up no matter what he says. He and I will have a discussion about that when he's well enough to hear it. He's sometimes almost too considerate.

I said once before that Ray would rather I not stay in a doctor's office or emergency room (or even a hospital visit) for any length of time. I don't know why, it doesn't matter why, I just accept that it is the way it is. He's uncomfortable being hovered over, even from me. I know eventually either he or the hospital will call and meantime, all I can do is try to keep busy, not think too much, and wait.

That's what I'm doing now. There is nothing calling the hospital will accomplish right now although if I haven't heard something in the next hour, I probably will. I know how crowded Urgent Care and the E. R. are and I try to have faith that if something were critical, I would know.

Meantime, I caught up some domestic stuff, worked on homework with Rebecca, drank several cups of coffee (decaf), and then sat down here which is probably where I'll stay. My cell phone is on the computer desk. If I leave the room it will be in my pocket. The girls are all asleep, the t.v. is off and the house is quiet. Tasha and Jonathan are both here waiting with me (watching t.v. in living room quietly). If Ray comes home tonight, they'll go after him. I went a long time without a second driver. It's very nice to finally have one again for things like this.

Of course I'm worried. He has many physical problems and while none are life threatening by themselves, they're all debilitating and it's been several years of ups and downs. However, my falling apart will help no one.

Jim and Tim's dad died almost 18 years ago at 54 after 5 years fighting prostate cancer that had metastized to the bone by the time symptoms appeared. At least this isn't cancer but sometimes, between Ray and my daughter (intestinal cancer), I have a feeling of deja vu all over again as the great Yogi Berra would say (and did).

I'll try to get back here with an update either tonight or in the morning.

Thanks to all of you for the comments. I've read all of them, answered some, and I'll go back through them again to make sure I haven't missed anything.

I don't usually answer comments in the comment box. I either do it as a post or in email if one is available. However, I'll reply to anything specific I missed in the comment box this time I think.

Good night, at least for now.


Gawdessness said...

Oh Granny!
Oh I am so sorry that I am late on this but I am thinking of you and praying and all that other stuff.
It would make me crazy to wake up and find that something like this had happened.
Take care, now I have to read more!

Badoozie said...

can you link me to any posts about Jim and Tim's dad?