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Saturday, April 01, 2006

For the Cat and Dog Fanciers

This from megz mum who lives in Townsville, Queensland, Australia. She said it's been making the rounds on email but I hadn't seen it before. Janice, I know you have so just bear with us.

We didn't learn a lot about Australia when I went to school and I still have a tendency to think of it as one of the continents rather than a thriving, huge country. There is much more to that country than koalas and kangaroos and it's always a joy to discover another Australian.

I've found a good, simple, map on Google so I know that Townsville is way up the north Pacific coast close to Magnetic Island. I'll google that next. I love learning new things (new to me at least - I imagine both Townsville and the Island have been there all along).

Anyhow, a day in the life of a dog and a cat.

As seen in a dog’s diary:
“7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!
7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!
8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!
11 pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people’s bed! My favorite!”

As seen in a cat’s diary:
“Day 183 of my captivity… My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded - must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair - must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear in their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan… There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing “allergies.” Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time…”


MsSisyphus said...

I've seen that before, but the cat diary makes me laugh every time.

VirusHead said...

Hee - hee. That's about how it goes...

pissed off patricia said...

Seems my own dog and cat wrote that original email. Damn, I didn't even know they knew how to turn on the computer.

megz_mum said...

I am glad you have used this again, it is so funny and accurate! Good to have a laugh!

JBlue said...

OMG! I think my cat is trying to kill me!

Gina said...

Yup, that cat diary never fails to make me giggle.

becksterh said...

Very funny.

A great book about Austrailia is "In a Sunburned Country" by Bill Bryson. Very funny and informative.

Meow said...

That's too funny. Thank you for sharing !!

Take care, Meow

Andie D. said...

Funny and TRUE!

madcapmum said...

I've seen that before and I love it! Makes me smile everytime.