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Thursday, December 07, 2006

Carol

Some of you already know this from email.

I spent much of yesterday afternoon at the hospital signing forms and permissions.

The oncologist has seen her, Hospice is involved. There is no good news.

It may be days, it may be weeks, but the outcome is almost certain. They could operate but it would provide very short term relief, even if successful, and in her weakened condition there is no guarantee she'd make it through surgery. She refused it which she has a right to do.

She also refused all further treatment except for palliative care/pain management. I agree and signed a DNR which may be one of the hardest decisions I've ever made.

If Hospice accepts her, she'll go from the hospital to Hospice inpatient care when/if she's stable enough to be transferred.

This is short but I wanted to answer all of you wonderful friends who have sent your love and support. It means so much.

My friend Alice (most of you will recognize her - she's in Kidderminster, England) may be posting for me if I'm not up to it. Right now, we're day to day. She and I talk on IM and the phone and it makes sense.

Meantime, we're going through the day-to-day stuff as best we can. I've talked to the girls and their school counselor and teachers.

Much love to you all. I appreciate hearing from you so much even if I can't get replies out to all.

Ann

54 comments:

baggage said...

I'm so sorry. I am thinking of you and yours.

Sue said...

Dear Ann,
Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you at this difficult time. The hospice Nurses that cared for my Mom and Grandma were like angels from above.
They will give comfort and support to Carol, as well as your entire family.
((hugs))

Yondalla said...

Ann,
there is nothing to be said, but know that I am thinking about you and if you want to contact me you know how.

peppylady said...

I'll light a candle for you and send some postive strength waves for you.

Take care and bless you.

Atasha said...

Ann again I am so sorry you & family are going through this. I don't have any comforting words as it probably won't make things better but you're in my prayers for strength to deal with this and the girls are also. Take Care

Atasha

Gina said...

Oh Ann. I am so very sorry. Know that prayers are on their way to help Carol gain as much mental and physical comfort in this process as she can, and for you as you go through such a difficult and painful time. I can't even imagine how hard it must have been to sign that DNR. (((Ann)))

stefanierj said...

I too am so sorry and am praying that Carol finds solace and comfort with her family around her during these last difficult days. Lots of love and tearful hugs to you.

thordora said...

I'm so very sorry Ann. I can't, and don't want to imagine going through this. I'm here if you need an ear.

Anvilcloud said...

Aw, Granny, this is so hard for you -- all of you. Having your children go first is something that we all dread, but, unfortunately, you have to experience it. I hope that Carol and you and the rest of the family have some good days together. My mother died in palliative care; considering the alternatives, it was a pretty good place in which to end her days.

Hugs from Canada.

spadoman said...

Oh Ann.... No words can express the love for you and all concerned. My prayers are for the courage to accept what happens and peace in your hearts. Smoke will be sent up to The Creator for acceptance and survival through a most difficult time. I scream at our inability to make any difference and change the situation.

Alissa said...

Sometimes there are no words, and this is one of those times. Please just know that your family is on my mind and in my prayers.

Kendra Lynn said...

Ann, could you please email me your address? I am praying.
Kendra

Chookooloonks said...

Oh, Ann. I'm so, so, sorry.

Lighting a candle for you and saying a prayer,

K.

Dutch said...

Ann, our heart goes out to you and your family.

JunieRose said...

Dear Ann,

This is so hard for you all.

May God be with you all-and may He bless Carol and keep her from pain!

As Sue said, Hospice is wonderful in helping families let go of our loved ones when it's time. With my mom we had more than 40 family members there at the end!

You're all in my prayers.

Junie

Ann said...

Oh Ann, I am so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you, your daughter, and your entire family. No parent should ever have to even contemplate the idea of burying their child, yet you are facing it with strength and grace. May God bless and comfort you all in this very difficult time.

The Mama said...

Ann I am so sorry. We will be thinking of you and praying for you, the girls, and all of Carols family. I hope that you are able to feel comfort and peace and enjoy the time you have left together.

Hugs from Colorado.

Alice

Kristin said...

Just wanted you to know we are all thinking of you Ann. And wishing you peace, if there is any to be had.

I am not very huggy, but this occasion calls for it.

Jenijen said...

thinking of you, Ann.

JBlue said...

Ann, you don't have to worry about replying to me. I know you have other priorities. I just wanted to let you know how sad I feel for all of you right now and to let you know I am thinking of you and wishing you the best. Take care.

Love from JBlue

Puss-in-Boots said...

Dearest Ann,

I'm so sorry to hear about Carol. Don't worry about replying, you have too much else on your mind. Just know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

A big hug to you and the girls.

sarcastic journalist said...

I'm so sorry. I will pray for you and your family tonight.

tina said...

I'm keeping you all in my heart.

Bacchus said...

Granny,

Add my thoughts and prayers for quality time you have together. My thoughts also to the girls in this rough time.

Autumn said...

Ann
I am so sorry to hear this bad news. I was so hoping that the Dr. would have some good news or at lest hope. Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Patty aka Autumn

Jenorama said...

Oh God, Ann.

Just thinking about having to sign that DNR as a parent.

I don't know how you are even still standing at this point. You are incredibly strong, but please lean on us for help. You have my number in the signature line of my emails.

wolfbaby said...

I am sorry that the news was not better. I don't know if you would be interested in hearing this but it might make the girls feel better. Or maybe not quite as powerless in this situation. Let them know that they can make a difference. and even though carol might not show it it does help her and make a difference for her. Meaning kind words kind thoughts and actions do help her. Meaning that though she may not always show it she does appreciate there efforts and it does have a positive affect on her. When my mom was at her worst in one of her more lucid moments she told this to me and it made a world of difference for me. At any rate it made me feel less out of control. Like I could do something to help. Sorry this was so long winded. hugs and prayers.

Caloden said...

Anne,

I am so very sorry. I have been negligent and out of touch lately and did not know until I read it on the BB mails.

Loss is so very hard and it simply never goes away. We learn to live with it as a constant partner, but it is always there.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and all of your family. Love and peace to all of you.

Heather

Merle said...

Dearest Ann ~ I am so very sorry to hear the sad news and wish there was something I could do apart from send love and prayers for you and dear Carol and the girls and their Dad. I hope her days will be pain free and comfortable and that she does not suffer. How awful for you to have to sign that form. Do not worry about replying Ann, as you have more than enough going on in your life. Look after yourself Ann, as you have a lot ahead of you. Lots of Love, Merle.

Merle said...

Dearest Ann ~ I am so very sorry to hear the sad news and wish there was something I could do apart from send love and prayers for you and dear Carol and the girls and their Dad. I hope her days will be pain free and comfortable and that she does not suffer. How awful for you to have to sign that form. Do not worry about replying Ann, as you have more than enough going on in your life. Look after yourself Ann, as you have a lot ahead of you. Lots of Love, Merle.

Mother Damnable said...

Beloved Ann,

I am sending my love to you, Blessings of Angels for Carol.

~ You are both so brave ~

Love and best wishes

Sharon

Irene said...

Ann, I'm so so sorry. I'll keep thinking and praying for you all.

FWMama said...

God bless you and your family, Ann. I'll be praying for you.

mamatulip said...

I'm here from BB to offer you my support and thoughts. I'm so sorry. You and your daughter are in my thoughts.

Marcia said...

We never really think about the personal realities others are dealing with. I'm so very sorry that you and your family have to go through this, and especially around this time of year when we are to be sharing with all of our loved ones. My thoughts and prayers are with your family.

Marcia

Mary P. said...

My thoughts are with you and Carol and the girls. I pray Carol's passing is peaceful. I pray the girls weather it with strength. And all my best wishes and prayers to/for you, their rock and support.

(hugs)

Keri said...

Ann, my thoughts are with you and your family during this difficult time. You and your daughter are two very courageous people. Lots of love to you both and your family.

Amanda. said...

Thinking of you and your family.

Much love and prayers.

nancytoby said...

My thoughts are with you and your family. Just to echo what everyone else has been saying. Take good care of yourself in this troubled time.

Much More Than A Mom said...

Oh Ann, I'm so very sorry. I am a brand new mom and I cannot even imagine your pain. I'm praying for you, Carol and your family.

Mama Grouch said...

I am so sorry Ann. I can't even begin to imagine the hurt that your family is going through right now. You will be in my thoughts.

mamaloo said...

I send love to you and the girls. This must be a really surreal time for you. As you walk the this part of your journey, know that there are many of us, friends and strangers who have you, your daughter, the girls and the rest of your family firmly in our hearts.

Nancy said...

Ann, I am so sorry to hear about Carol. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Lauren said...

Ann,
I am here from the BB community to offer my hope-

You are loved and admired from afar by many strangers, me being one of them.

Lauren

Ginny said...

Ann,
As I said on Blogging Baby, I am very sad to hear of your dear Carol's illness.
Stay strong and please know that I am thinking of you, Carol and your family.

Ginny

emily said...

Ann,

Thinking of you and prayeing for your family! You are so strong and brave. Extra blessings and love to you,

Emily

Lisa said...

I'm so, so sorry.

Blessings and peace to you, your daughter, and your entire family as you navigate these waters.

posthipchick said...

You and your family are in my thoughts.

Sami said...

Ann

I found you through blogging baby and am now reading the archives, but I wanted to say - I am thinking of you and your family as you traverse these mucky waters. Sending lots of love, peace and just prayers your way...

Anonymous said...

Dearest Ann-

LB from BB here-

My thoughts are with you, Carol, the girls and the rest of your clan in this difficult time.

Love,
Lisa

Messed up Mama said...

There are no words of comfort that would express how I feel completely. I wish that I could do more for you than send my prayers at this time.

PEA said...

Wish I was there to give you a big hug...my thoughts and prayers are with you. xoxo

MamaChristy said...

All I can do is wish peace for you and your family. I am so, so sorry.

Beth said...

Wishing you and your family strength during this difficult time.