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Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Carol 2 - Pictures (more below)

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A couple of photos of Carol with the girls when they were very little (with friend Heather) and Carol with her son, Wesley (girls' dad). Carol is the laughing one and it's a wonderful picture.

The local paper finally ran the death notice today. They no longer run the full obits unless the family pays for them. This is it - doesn't say much, does it?

Carol Kathleen Breeze

June 2, 1956 ~ May 3, 2007

<A Memorial service will be held Thursday, May 10, 2007 at 12:00 p.m. at The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, 2976 North McKee Road in Merced.

Burial will be private per the family's request. Contributions may be made to Stratford Evans Merced Funeral Home, 1490 B Street, Merced California 95340.

It's cremation, not burial. Maybe sometime Tim and I will take her ashes back to our beloved San Francisco.

Carol is a convert to the LDS (Mormons) as are her son and Ray. The funeral director at Stratford-Evans (I picked them at random) turned out to be an old friend and member of her church which helped. I thought the county might have to do it since I sure didn't have the money up front. I guess that's why he put that line in about contributions because when I told him about our finances, he didn't seem worried. I'll figure it all eventually. Meantime, I was fairly sure I was following her wishes with the Mormon service. It's the last thing I can do for her.

Tomorrow was the first day that made sense for the service. The girls will be finished with testing and it's Tim's regular day off.

Strange how things happen. Ray and I both have enough insurance to cover final expenses but I never thought about Carol. Once I did, she was sick and not eligible. We'll work it out somehow.

Meantime, being the caring people they are, they've visited, helped me plan the service since I knew very little about their customs, brought cookies on Sunday, and dinner on Tuesday. They visited Carol all through her illness, even after she was moved out of the city.

I agreed to speak. I'm sure I can do it - just won't know what to say until I'm standing there. I've been thinking how much Carol did with the girls when she was well. The skating and bicycle rides, the long walks around town, all the stuff that younger parents do that are beyond me. I will focus on her wonderful qualities - there were many.

We're doing okay. I was exhausted and not sleeping at night for the first few days and going back to bed in the daytime after the kids were either in school or with friends. Ray pitched in and did almost everything around here. I slept last night and stayed awake today so the worst may be past. Yesterday was the first day I hadn't felt sick from the time I woke up until the time I went to bed. Combination of grief and stress, I suppose. Once we have the service tomorrow behind us, maybe I can take two steps forward and only one back.

My friend Janet took me to lunch and then coffee yesterday. We hadn't seen each other for a while. Today Ray and I took Elcie for wheelchair repairs and to order her new bright red electric scooter. We hope it will be here by the time she starts high school. I'll probably need a lift for the van because I'm sure we won't be able to lift it. And we'll put the ramp down at the front door. We didn't need it with the lightweight manual chair.

The girls are at my friend's house having their hair done. We had chicken sandwiches for dinner. Maybe by Friday, I'll feel like cooking once again. Fortunately, Ray enjoys cooking so he took over there as well. I keep telling him not to wear himself out but so far he hasn't complained. (Spoke too soon - here they are).

Once again, thank you for all the loving comments and emails.


Heather said...

Thinking of you. I remember the first days as being such a blur of activity, much of it filled with nausea. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.

Heather (Caloden)

Penless Thoughts said...

There isn't anything anyone can say except I care and I'm sorry.

Anonymous said...

Carol is a lovely girl. She looks like you. I'm glad you posted her pictures.

Still keeping you in my prayers. ((hugs))

Autumn said...

I am glad you posted some photos. It is nice to see her in happier times. I will be thinking of you tomorrow.

The Mama said...

What great pictures and wonderful memories. Thank you for sharing.

We'll have you all in our thoughts and prayers tomorrow, I'm sure it will be tough.


PEA said...

Hello dear glad you posted, had you so much in my mind! I loved seeing pictures of Carol...I could really see the resemblance to you:-) Always remember her smiling like that!! xox

Yondalla said...

Thank you for sharing the photos.

Still thinking of you...

Anvilcloud said...

I am staring at the screen trying to think of something to say, but I can't think of anything except saying just that.

Atasha said...

Yes it's great to have those happy memories Ann. I love the photos of smiling faces. I am typing this and I am all choked up. I don't know what else to say.

Take Care and we'll be thinking of you.

Diane J. said...

I was so glad to open my Bloglines and see your posts, Ann.

Thank you for your sweet words about Emmy.

You know, I was thinking as we waited for Emmy to be delivered, about your Carol passing, and Emmy's new life just beginning. It's all part of God's circle of life and His plan.

Love and lots of hugs and prayers for you, dear friend.


JUST A MOM said...

I do not remember how I got here, but your in my thoughts.

oshee said...

I am glad you have help with the planning. Thank you for sharing the pictures of her. It is nice to put a face to your love.

Peter said...

All the best Ann, stay strong.

Kendra Lynn said...

You are all in my thoughts and prayers.


baggage said...

Do you have paypal Ann? I'm sure many of us would love to help you out with the expenses.

Jo said...

That is kind of funny, I guess I hadn't thought of the things we do as "customs", but I guess that is what they are. I can't even imagine how hard this time is for you. They say it gets easier with time, but sadly, it takes the passage of time for that to happen. My love and prayers are with you, I hope the service goes well.

ania said...

I am so sorry.

I am glad that you have the girls, and that they have you.

With care....

Gina said...

Ann, she was beautiful, just like you.

Hugs and prayers from down south. I am thinking of you today.

Ginny said...

Oh Ann,
I was worried when I saw your comment on PD about dreading Mother's Day. I am so sad to hear about the passing of your beloved daughter Carol.



thordora said...

I was happy to see you too.

She looks like a lot of fun.

Hang in there. The worst part is almost over.

peppylady said...

Hugs to you Ann and family.

The Mormons does help out there own quite a bit.
My home care client is Mormon and she has receive help in the pass.
I bet if someone called the bishop of the church Carol was a member they would help out.

I know they general don't help out of people who aren't Mormons

I can see were you and your daughter have the same beautiful smilie

Susie said...

Dear Ann,
My prayers are with you and your family. Carol's smile just lights up the page. Hold those memories close..

Nvisiblewmn said...

Thinking of you and wishing you well, as always, but especially at this time.

mreddie said...

So sorry for your loss and thanks for posting the photos of happier times. ec

Atasha said...

Just dropping in to let you know we've been thinking about you today.

Messed up Mama said...

I'm sorry, I wish that there were more words to express this, sorry isn't really enough is it? I wish I'd known you were in Merced when we lived in Atwater, that was only a year ago. Anyway, I just wanted you to know that we are thinking about you and your family during this difficult time. I wish there was more I could do.