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Friday, August 17, 2007

Family Crisis Update (Updated Again)

Hello Everyone,

This is Tim, granny's son. As some of you know the girls have been removed from her care. We are dealing with it as a family the best way we can. Upon careful consideration Granny has asked me to remove the previous post due to the possible complications that could arise. We live in a small town and Granny has a small degree of visibility due to her involment in the local paper. She has some concerns that people might be drawn to the blog because of an upcoming story in our local paper about blogging. She does not want any negative attention focused on the three girls.

As her son I would ask any one who is concerned to give her as much emotional support as possible. She has given of herself unceasingly for the past three or four decades and now the universe needs to return the favor.

Granny for all intents and purposes has decided to pass the reins on to someone else who may be better equipped to deal with the special needs of three adolescent girls. At almost 70 she has done enough. It is time for she and "Ray Ray" as we in the family call her husband to start the retirement that was interrupted 14 years ago.

Granny's internet is currently (once again) on the blink so she will respond as soon as she can.
Granny is grateful for all the support and should you wish to call or email please feel free.
I personally encourage it.
Her phone number is 209-230-3354

All my best to everyone and my love to all granny's friends on her behalf.

Update Saturday morning around 9:00 PDT by Ann

Beloved son:

I stuck in a couple of commas and fixed your spelling. (Tim will understand what I'm talking about and smile. When he was taking a writing class here at the college, I was his proofreader)

My net is back but I don't know for how long. I've read back through the emails and I'll try to answer as many as I can. I said when my daughter Carol died that it helped to hear from friends and respond. That's not any less true now.

I wrote the mysterious deleted post without thinking of possible damage to the kids and included a little too much information. I'd forgotten the paper interviewed me for an article about blogging a couple of weeks ago. Someone here might find the blog through a search. It's not that difficult. I called Tim from home (no internet) and asked him to delete and rewrite.

I'm glad to talk about it in email - just not on the blog.

If the newspaper runs the story today, I'll post the link. It was all true when I was interviewed. I had no idea all would be different now.

Thanks to all of you. Ray was in the hospital when all this took place. He's home now and we're making plans to move as soon as possible. We're sorting, scaling back a lot, and trying to put the best face on all this we can. It's hard and I still find myself in tears some of the time.

Friends have told me I didn't fail the girls. I know they're right but I think I finally recognize my limits. It was so hard to admit defeat but it's been coming for a while.

I have hopes we'll put all this behind us and still be a family; just not in the same house.

I don't think I'll give up the blog or my online friends. The internet is a lifeline and I don't want to lose that. The focus may change a little.

Thanks to all of you who have written or called. Special thanks to all the foster and adoptive parents who have been where I am now. You're all heroes.

Madcap asked about the phone number. It's okay; I have a spam blocker for the telemarketers and it was worth the risk to be reachable. It's always on the bottom of my emails anyhow.

Take care everyone.


Susie said...

Dear Ann,
Writing this must have been very difficult. I can't even pretend to understand the stress you've been under.
I wouldn't pretend to advise you. I know you have people who are far more familiar with the situation to do that.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
love and ((hugs))

Delia said...

I'm so sorry.

I'm still praying.

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Ann, you all continue in my prayers. I’ll attempt to call you on Saturday.

stefanierj said...

Oh, Ann--this year has been so unbelieveable for you. I think what kills me about this is that I fear those girls may not know how much you sacrificed for them and how good a caregiver you were to them until they grow up a little more.

You are a touchstone and an inspiration to me as a mother, grandmother and woman. I love you, sweetie, and you're in my prayers.

Pissed Off said...

my prayers are with you and your family

Gail said...

Ann, I will pray that God will comfort you in this time. I can feel your pain in your words. I hope everything works out for the best

Granny said...

Gail, thanksfor the call.

I tried to respond to some of you but I'm so unused to this computer, especially the almost nonexistent space bar.

I did read all the email and now I'm going back home.

Alissa said...

I think you have to do what your heart leads you to do, but also keeping in mind that you deserve to take care of yourself and of Ray. You can still be there for the girls regardless of where they're actually living. I don't know if it would help any, but remember DH is a police officer and would be more than happy to offer advice/help on any aspect of the situation.

T*mmy said...

Keep your head up've done your best by them all!!

Yondalla said...

I will keep praying for you and the girls. Take care of yourself and Ray.

Caitlin said...

Oh, Ann, I'm so sorry. I haven't been commenting so much lately, but I've been reading your rss feed. It's obvious how much you love and care about the girls when you write about them; I wish Elcie could see you the way the rest of us do. It really saddens me that she's somehow missing what an amazing woman her granny is.

*hugs* I have no advice, but I hope that however you choose to resolve this, you are able to find peace.

Katherine said...

Praying for your situation - I hope that however it turns out that you can be a big part of their lives and be at peace with it all.

- sometime lurker

Anvilcloud said...

You have done an incredible, remarkable job. I have always been impressed with what you have given to those girls. Vary few would give of themselves so unstintingly.

PEA said...

Dearest Ann, please know that you're in my thoughts and prayers. I can't even imagine what you're going through right now, I know those girls have been your whole life for so long. xoxo

queerpoet said...


You are in my thoughts, as are the rest of your family. Take care of yourself and Ray.

Madcap said...

Oh Ann, this must be so difficult! {{{}}}.

This is an aside, but I'm wondering if the phone number is something you want this public.

Marty said...


You and your family are in my prayers.

Gawdess said...

You know that I am thinking of you all.
Sometimes it just SUCKS and then it gets better...
lets keep looking for the light at the end of the tunnel and damn it, no it isn't going to be a train!

The Maven said...

Ann, I'm so sorry for everything that's going on right now. I can tell how much you love those girls just by reading your posts. I'm sure words can't even describe how you're feeling right now.

Love and prayers from a fellow friend of Bill's *hugs*

Dragon said...

I have nothing to say that hasn't already been said so much better, but my thoughts are with you. I'm sure whatever you do will be for the best.


Puss-in-Boots said...

Dearest Ann.

I think there comes a time in everyone's life when we say it's too much. You have imbued your girls with good standards and morals and they will be your legacy.

If things are difficult now, I think the girls, when they are older, will look back and recognise how much you have given them.

My heart goes out to you, Ann, because I know it must have been a terribly hard decision.

Go with God and I'm sure you're all strong enough to get through this.

Hugs xoxo

clairesgarden said...

many blessing granny, you are a fabuous strong inspirational woman.

Judy said...

I don't comment much, but I always read. I find you to be a real inspiration, and have been awed reading your blog. Heck, I have you listed as one of my heroes on MySpace.

I can say nothing that others can't say better. No one knows the ins and outs of the situation entirely, and you must take care of you and Ray, too. You have done so very very much, and so much more than most would have. It's really pretty amazing.

My thoughts are with you, often. I hope you find peace with the situation. Good luck.

FosterAbba said...

My heart goes out to you all.

Gina said...

Dearest Ann, I am keeping you and the girls in my prayers.

We all love you, we indeed think you are the Rockin'ist Granny ever!

I think it is time for you and Ray to have your lives together. You were so brave and unselfish to take on the girls, but there comes a time when we have to let go, and now is that time.

Hugs, hugs, and more hugs...

Jennifer said...

Your strength has always amazed me Ann. There are some people in this world that give everything of themselves, if we had more people like you this planet would be a much nicer place to live on. I'm sorry you're going through this, I don't know exactly whats going on, but I wish you the best.

Jen said...

I'm so very sorry you're going through all of this, and please know how much we'll be pulling for you to get through everything with all of your strength in tact.
Your kindness and thoughtfulness and giving has been such an inspiration to me and to so many other people; I wish there was something I could give back to help you get through this difficult time.

Eden said...

The gift you have given to your family is inspirational. Brightest blessings.

ancient one said...

Wishing all the best for you. You are an amazing person!!

Bon said...

delurking to say that i'm really sorry this has unfolded in an already tough year...and that i hold you in the highest esteem.

take care of you.

Josie said...

Ann, you are a mainstay of the blogging community, and you have TONS and TONS of people who love you and care about you and your family. We are all here to support you in whatever decisions you make. You know, I have wondered myself where you get the energy to do what you have been doing. I don't think I could do it. Please take good care of yourself and Ray, and know we are all thinking about you.


KinnicChick said...


I haven't commented often, but I'm sending you MANY hopes and prayers. You are a love...

FosterAbba said...

You are in our thoughts and prayers.

I will try to call you soon. I'm not sure when, because we are suddenly dealing with our own family crisis. My stepmother's father died this afternoon, which brings up all kinds of craziness.

But know I haven't forgotten you, and I will call as soon as I can.

Lavender said...


Sorry I haven't been around... and I come tonight and see this.. I am so sorry and surprised. I hope all is well.


Merle said...

Dear Ann ~~ This is a shock to many of us, but you have given those three girls the very best start in life and have taught them so much. If they do not realize it now, they will later.
My prayers are with you all at this difficult time. The year has been a
dreadful one for you and must take it's toll. You are to be congratulated on what you have done
for so long, as well as being an inspiration to many of us bloggers
who all admire and love you. So, now just look after yourself and Ray and try to be happy. Much love
as always, Merle.

Trope said...

Hey Granny, hang in there... you have been through so much and I know that you can survive this too. I'm still reading and cheering you on.

Ann said...

Oh (((Ann))),

I'm so sorry. I was actually out of town and missed the now deleted post. But just know you and the girls are in my thoughts and prayers. You're an amazing woman and I only hope to have half the energy and strength you have when I reach your age. I hope I can live up to the name :-)
I'm sure everything will work out for the best, just keep the faith.


Jen said...


I am thinking of you. I am still speechless-- I can't imagine what you are going through right now. I admire your courage and resilience, and I hope and pray that the girls will see what you have given them, what you have given up for them, and what you mean to them.

I also hope that you can take some time now to focus on YOU, for perhaps the first time ever.

God, I hope Ray is okay too. This is just relentless, isn't it?

Much love to you.


medea said...

Lots of love from across the world.

Autumn said...

Dear Ann
I've been out of town for a few days so I have missed knowing anything about all of this. Please know I am just an email away if you want to talk

Kendra Lynn said...

I missed a couple weeks of posts...and came upon this one. Is everything okay?
Please let me know...and I will be praying for you.
Much love,

Meredith said...

I am just one more person sending good vibes and juju your way.

Jane said...

I missed the now-deleted post, but I will add my prayers and best wishes for all in your family.

Ava said...

Ann, you're in my thoughts and prayers. You definitely did not fail those girls.

PI said...

Dear Ann- I can only echo what your friends have said and I admire you so much for all you have done and hope you can now enjoy some peace and happiness and the girls will know how much you have loved and cared for them. I am so glad you have a loving son. God bless.

Nvisiblewmn said...

Ah, Gran, my heart goes out to you. You're such a wonderful lady. You don't deserve the pain. And hey, you got those girls this far, which is something you can be proud of. I know they will be the better people in the future for the time they had with you.

Thanks to Tim for the update.

granny p said...

Dear friend,

have only just picked this up - am away - and didn't see your deleted link, so don't all the story. But I'm thinking of you - I admired your care of those girls so much.xxlove Grannyp - Penelope

wolfbaby said...

Im sorry so late in getting to this. You and yours are in my thoughts and prayers. many well wishes and hugs

Angel said...

My dear beloved ((((Granny))))

You are in my heart and prayers. I'm so proud to be your cyberfriend.

Hang in there, and know I'm an email/phonecall away.

Janice said...

Hi Ann,

Your in my prayers.

Maybe it's time for it to be just the two of you, and you can concentrate on each other for now.


Dapoppins said...

crying for you...and praying.

Jobthingy said...

im late with the whole being away for a month thing.

i just wanted to send you some huge cyber hugs. everything will be fine. those girls im sure feel as tho they are the luckiest girls in the world to have been with you for so long. they will keep that with them forever. you have not failed them in any way. they will all be that much better growing up because of your influence.


Merle said...

Dear Ann ~~ I hope you are feeling a little better by now about things.
Sorry about all the internet trouble
on top of everything else. How is
Ray - is he home? Still thinking od
you and keeping you in my prayers.
Be proud of what you have done for the girls, no-one can take that away - all your care and love. No-one could ask for more from you. Take are, dear friend, Love, Merle.

Barbra said...

I find so much inspiration compassion, and kindness in your writing. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Take care of yourself.

Midori said...

I have always been in awe of you and how strong you are. I missed the deleted post as well but I just wanted to send love and hugs from london and let you know I am thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers.

Midori xxx

mo-wo said...

Ann Adams

You are an amazing woman. I send to you all our wishes for good luck finding a safe soft place to land after another challenge life has given you. You NEVER fail for I can't really think of ANYONE who puts more into this world, your life and lives of others, as you.

Take care. Hugs from us