Teenagers and cats are the same.
1. Neither teenagers nor cats turn their heads when you
call them by name.
2. No matter what you do for them, it is not enough. Indeed
all human efforts are barely adequate to compensate for
the privilege of waiting on them, hand and foot.
3. You rarely see a cat walking outside of the house with an
adult human being, and it can safely be said that no teen in
his or her right mind wants to be seen in public with his or
4. Even if you tell jokes as well as Jay Leno, neither your cat
nor your teen will ever crack a smile.
5. No cat or teenager shares your taste in music.
6. Cats and teenagers can lie on the living- room sofa for
hours on end without moving and barely breathing.
7. Cats have nine lives. Teenagers carry on as if they did.
8. Cats and teenagers yawn in exactly the same manner,
communicating that ultimate human ecstasy; a sense of
complete and utter boredom.
9. Cats and teenagers do not improve anyone’s furniture.
10. Cats are free to roam outside sometimes have been known
to return in the middle of the night to deposit a dead
animal in your bedroom. Teenagers are not above that sort
Thus if you raise teenagers, the best sort of advice are not other parents, but veterinarians. It is also a good idea to keep
a guidebook on cats at all times. And remember this, above all
else, put out the food and do not make any sudden moves in their direction.
When they make up their minds, they will finally come to you
for some affection and comfort, and it will be a triumphant
moment for all concerned.