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Wednesday, June 14, 2006

More from Merle

Teenagers and cats are the same.

1. Neither teenagers nor cats turn their heads when you

call them by name.

2. No matter what you do for them, it is not enough. Indeed

all human efforts are barely adequate to compensate for

the privilege of waiting on them, hand and foot.

3. You rarely see a cat walking outside of the house with an

adult human being, and it can safely be said that no teen in

his or her right mind wants to be seen in public with his or

her parents.

4. Even if you tell jokes as well as Jay Leno, neither your cat

nor your teen will ever crack a smile.

5. No cat or teenager shares your taste in music.

6. Cats and teenagers can lie on the living- room sofa for

hours on end without moving and barely breathing.

7. Cats have nine lives. Teenagers carry on as if they did.

8. Cats and teenagers yawn in exactly the same manner,

communicating that ultimate human ecstasy; a sense of

complete and utter boredom.

9. Cats and teenagers do not improve anyone’s furniture.

10. Cats are free to roam outside sometimes have been known

to return in the middle of the night to deposit a dead

animal in your bedroom. Teenagers are not above that sort

of behavior.

Thus if you raise teenagers, the best sort of advice are not other parents, but veterinarians. It is also a good idea to keep

a guidebook on cats at all times. And remember this, above all

else, put out the food and do not make any sudden moves in their direction.

When they make up their minds, they will finally come to you

for some affection and comfort, and it will be a triumphant

moment for all concerned.

9 comments:

JunieRose said...

:) so true!!

Junie

Alissa said...

Hehehe. :)

Beth said...

I love it!

madcapmum said...

How come this all sounds so familiar, yet I don't have a cat, and my daughter's not even 10?!

PEA said...

Yup they do sound exactly alike! lol That was great, Ann, thanks for sharing:-)

Missy said...

Haaaaaaaa! That's wonderful and so, soooo true!

I should write a post on how toddlers are like cats. It would say something along the lines of:

-Buy your toddler/cat an expensive toy. They'll still choose the cheapest thing around as a plaything.
-They poop a lot.
-They're so darned cute.

Melissa said...

Funny, I consider myself a cat person, but I have the hardest time with my 11yr old "thinks and acts like a teenager" son. Maybe if I get my son to purrr. hmmm.

Alice said...

A-Men.

I've mentioned the likeness between cats and teenagers before; the way you can ask them to do something or tell them off and they'll just look at you as if to say: "...And?" but I doubt I put it as brilliantly as that.

Jolly good show.

:-)

stefanierj said...

I love this! I had to read it to Daddymatic because I was laughing so hard.

Someone once told me dogs have families and cats have staff, and that's so true for my kid--we are totally his staff most of the time. Now that he's learned a sign for "help," it's like he's snapping his fingers for Jeeves every second. Oy.