I'll back later with the latest news and possibly a request for advice.
My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday.
He asked me how old I was, and I told him, "62." He was quiet for a
moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"
A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own
childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing
made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our
pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."
The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I
sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready
to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what
Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shall not take the
covers off thy neighbor's wife."
Our five-year-old grandson couldn't wait to tell his grandfather about
the movie we had watched on television, "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea."
The scenes with the submarine and the giant octopus had kept him
In the middle of the telling, my husband interrupted Mark, "What caused
the submarine to sink?"
With a look of incredulity Mark replied, "Grandpa, it was the 20,000
When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the
lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects.
Still, a few fireflies followed us in.
Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered "It's too late grandpa, the
mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."
When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not
"Look in your underwear, Grandma," he advised. "Mine says I'm four
Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a
The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant."
The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what
pregnant means?" she asked.
"Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means carrying a child."
A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids
home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front
seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started
discussing the dog's duties.
"They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.
"No, said another, "he's just for good luck."
A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs", she
said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."