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Friday, October 06, 2006

Chickens and Roads, the Crossing Thereof

Once again from my San Diego friend. Some of the political statements may be lost on my friends outside the USA but maybe not. They received wide circulation at the time they were made.

Subject: Fw: Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his "CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.

OPRAH: Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am for it now, and will remain against it.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together
in peace.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2006, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken. The Platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^( C \ reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken!
JESSICA SIMPSON: Why would he be on the road, don't chickens live in the ocean?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

17 comments:

Madcap said...

I loved that. I got most of the references, after all, my American friends have been horrifying - I mean educating me about US politics for over a year now!

JBlue said...

Funny. Dr. Phil would also say to the chicken, "And how's that working out for you?"

And Madcap, not naming names?

The Mama said...

This is very funny!! Thanks!

I tried to post a comment a couple days ago too, but couldn't. Glad to know that Ray is doing well and the girls seem to be learning from their mistakes.

Madcap said...

Didn't want to make you blush, JuBlu!

Stole it, btw, Ann. You can come flame me now, if you like. ;-)

Tammy said...

OHHHHHHH Mz Granny...you must be feeling some better...this was a hoot...read it to Hubby even!!!
Loved it!!!
:-D

Gina said...

Ha! Loved the Pat Buchanan one.

Much More Than A Mom said...

Hilarious!

Puss-in-Boots said...

Hahaha - loved the Colonel Sanders one! But what I liked about this, is that you can actually imagine the people concerned saying what was written. Very funny!

Janice said...

Hi Ann,

Thanks I needed that laugh!

The funny thing was I could hear all there voices in my head as I was ready that.

Janice~

Yondalla said...

codependent: to help the chicken make a decision

Sue said...

These were great, and echoing what others said, I could actually hear some of these people saying these things!!

PEA said...

Oh gosh, that was funny! hehe Yup, I can just hear each one of these mentioned saying it!! LOL

Margaret said...

Very funny Ann, the comments were all so well "type cast". I had a really good laugh Cheers Margaret

Ingrid said...

LOL very funny! see, all politics all the time is not good for one's mental health, we need posts like this
Ingrid

karrie said...

Bwhahahahaha!!! Love it!

Lindsay Lobe said...

I loved that, also commented on madcaps blog.

Best wishes

jw said...

JESUS: If any chicken would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. (Mark 8:34)