I Am Hopelessly Behind

I tried to catch up with a few of your posts today and I think I've responded to most of the comments but I'm not sure.

I was asleep before midnight New Year's eve and not good for much of anything the next couple of days. Yesterday was a little better. I managed to get out of the house for a while, had coffee with my friends, and picked up a few necessities. Oh, we drank the Martinelli's on New Year's day. Or the girls and Ray did.

Before I forget to mention it, an early Happy Birthday to my sweet Rochelle who will be 12 on Friday. I'll try to write something special for her between now and then.

Elves left me a printer/scanner/copier/fax a short time before Christmas and Tim and I have been trying to install it ever since. Should be simple, right? Wrong. He tried it with another computer, finally downloaded the software from the HP site, still the same error code. Finally, he tried turning off the modem and voila!! It had something to do with the incoming stuff getting in the way. I don't understand it but I'll know if it ever happens again. While he was here, he reconnected the router so Elcie has a functioning PC once again.

The printer is wonderful. Mine gave up completely a couple of months ago and I was waiting until I could afford what I wanted when the elves showed up. I have to get a landline back to use the fax (hadn't thought about that) but shouldn't be a problem. Maybe next month. Hadn't thought I'd need one.

Today we met for lunch and he came back over, fixed my speakers (plugged them in), hooked up a cordless mouse, gave Elcie her mouse back, and fixed her speakers (also unplugged). Now all I have to do in the way of technology is figure out how to remove a cd which is jammed in the slot. It will not open. Any ideas?

I've been using an old coin-op dryer for a few years now and nursing it along. Jim and Melissa's washer broke down so they replaced the whole set and gave me their dryer which is much newer than my antique although a little smaller. Tim and I moved it today in the van and he hauled it in here and set it up. It's nice to not have to reach in, pull a lever, and then push the start button and this one has more than one temp setting. I'll probably offer the old one on Free-cycle. It still works very well if somewhat noisily and someone out there may find it a treasure. I certainly did when it was given to me.

So with all that you'd think I'd be all happy and carefree. Not today. I've been close to meltdown and wanting to scream and pull my hair. Nothing specific - just the blues and wanting to hide out somewhere and be anti-social. The girls go back to school Monday. It's been far too long a vacation. Things that usually would be no big deal suddenly seemed monumental.

Carol is planning on spending part of Saturday and Sunday here this weekend if she still feels up to it. She's had a good week so far. I think she's overscheduled herself but she'll find that out for herself when she's here. I can have her back there in 30 minutes if necessary. The medication causes her to feel better than she actually is which a good thing of course but this will be her first time home since she went into the hospital right after Thanksgiving.

She wants to shop Saturday afternoon (don't know what for - probably little things for the girls' Christmas), and then go to church on Sunday and take the girls to a movie. We'll see how it goes. I worry about her doing too much and then I think if she has some happy days, what possible difference can it make if she overdoes a little.

She asked a friend of hers (her former Home Teacher who now lives out of state) to perform Temple rites for her (I'm not Latter Day Saints but she is) and I spent part of today working on a genealogy (or the beginning of one) for her. I understand the belief and the reason for the genealogy and it seems to make her happy thinking about it. My Mormon friends will know what I'm talking about and it's too complicated for a non Mormon like me to try to explain. I think that got to me more than I realized. Everything I do for her I think I may be doing for the last time. and it all hits me again.

So, tomorrow we'll start working on clearing out the aftermath of the holidays and the girls. Rebecca cleaned our front bathroom including drawers and cabinets last night - all on her own initiative. I'll put Rochelle to work on the back bedroom (Carol's) and Ray and I will take down the Christmas decorations and clean the living room. It's been hard with me sick and the girls home to maintain much order. I'd like her to come home to something resembling what she left.

I did not start out intending to sound this depressed. I've had a little time of relative peace and quiet. Elcie and Rochelle are asleep and Rebecca is spending the night across the street with friends. Ray's doing well for the moment and physically, at least, I seem to be improving a little each day.

And tomorrow will be better.

Thanks to all of you for the comments. I haven't abandoned you - just not up to reading or writing very much lately.

Take care everyone.