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Thursday, May 03, 2007

Carol Kathleen Breeze June 2, 1956 - May 3, 2007

The end came tonight at about 7:30. Tim, Rebecca, Rochelle, their mom, and I were about halfway between home and the facility when they phoned to tell me she had just died.

According to her nurse, it was peaceful. The girls are sad but okay, I just dropped Tim off at home and of course Ray is here with me. Elcie didn't want to go, the other two insisted and they're old enough to decide. I'll tell her in the morning.

I thought about saving this post for morning but sometimes it's better to get the hard things out of the way.

I can never thank you enough for all the prayers and support.

Much love to all

Ann

Update shortly past midnight Saturday morning

I'm blown away by the love and support which has poured in. I've tried to get around to most of you either by email or in your comment boxes but know there are some I've missed and some I'm unable to contact.

My gratitude to all of you. Some of you have said it's difficult to find words. I have the same problem. My words of condolence have always seemed inadequate and awkward to me. Trust me on this; yours are not. It's the feeling behind the words that counts.

I've been blog surfing this evening (beats thinking too much) and realized how many of you have included the death of my daughter in your own posts.. My thanks to you as well.

I'll write more later. We're doing okay, all things considered, and yes, I'm managing a little rest although last night was almost sleepless. I made up for it with a long nap before the girls came home from school. We've taken care of many of the details; tomorrow I'll make one final trip to Turlock, to pick up Carol's personal items (she'd built herself quite a little nest in the time she was there).

Much love to all and take care everyone.

112 comments:

Bacchus said...

Granny and Gang,

My sincerest and heartfelt sympathies to all of you. Know that your family is in my thoughts. Please take care of each other and lots of hugs.

Diane J. said...

"I'm sorry" isn't nearly enough to say, but it's all I can offer, Ann. Just know that I'm thinking of you and praying for all of you.

Love, hugs and prayers from Arkansas,

Diane

Irene said...

Ann, I am so, so sorry for your loss. I'm keeping you and your family in my prayers. XOXO

Peter said...

So very sorry for your loss Ann, Carol is at peace at last.

granny p said...

Ann - thoughts and hugs from my island over the sea. these losses are so hard. xx

clairesgarden said...

very sorry granny, many blessings.

oshee said...

My heart aches for you and your family. You have my heartfelt sympathies and love.

Shrink wrapped scream said...

Ann, She is at peace now. Words are so inadequate. Carol is still with you, in your heart, in your memory, and most especially, in your love. I send a gentle hug, to wrap around you, and your beautiful family. God bless you. x

Puss-in-Boots said...

Dearest Ann, Ray and girls.

My deepest sympathy to you all.

Hugs and prayers.

Anvilcloud said...

I add my sympathy to all of the others.

CaliGirl said...

so sorry to hear this Ann...sending my sympathy to you and your family. she is finally at peace and in Gods hands.

much love to you and the girls.
hugs

Autumn said...

I am so sorry to hear this. Please know that I am just an email away. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Hugs

Alissa said...

I'm so very sorry, Ann. I know words are just words at a time like this, but it's all I have to offer. Carol is finally pain-free and in peace, and hopefully that offers a measure of comfort. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.

Alice said...

It's probably already been said, but now she can rest easy and in peace in heaven, watching over you with love, free from all worldly trials and pain.

I've lost most of my readers (hopefully temporalily), I think, but I'll be posting a little note up just in case.

I'm so sorry, Ann. I'm far away and helpless, but you have my love, friendship and support, as always.

Much love,
Alice xxx

lindsaylobe said...

Hi Ann

So sorry to hear of Carol’s passing, hard to comment

Humbly all one can say
Contemplations to pray
Spirit of light bring relief
Shine on Ann’s grief

Ann and family keep them in sight
In the presence of one almighty light
Rest, comfort grant this day
Hands outstretched so we pray

Merle said...

Dear Ann ~~ My deepest sympathy to
you and the girls, but no more pain
or suffering for dear Carol. May God
give you all strength for the days ahead. My prayers are with you Ann.
Much love, Merle.

lushgurl said...

Oh Ann, I hope you find some time to be good to you in your time of mourning. I also pray that you can find peace and beauty today, prayers are with you and family.
Love you lots BIG HUGS

Gawdessness said...

I am so very sorry for you and your family's loss.
So sorry.

jennifergg said...

Thinking of you and your family, wishing you strength, and peace.

JunieRose2005 said...

Dear Ann,

I'm so sorry for your family's loss.

But your dear daughter is through with the suffering now.

You are all in my thoughts and prayers.


Love,


Junie

Chris said...

I'm sorry Ann. Take care of yourself and the kids. I'll send good thoughts your way.

Beth Fish said...

Oh Ann, I'm so sorry for you and the girls. Know that we are all thinking of all of you.

Susie said...

Dear Ann,
I'm so sorry for the loss of your beloved daughter Carol. You are all in my prayers..
May God grant her eternal rest.
xo

Eden said...

Thinking of you & your family and wishing you light and peace.

LoisLane said...

I'm so sorry. Many, many hugs for all of you.

cebii said...

Wishing you peace in this difficult time!

Lionmom said...

I'm sorry for your loss and hope you can find some peace.

Gina said...

Ann, I am so very sorry. My continued thoughts and prayers to all. Words just don't seem to be enough, though...

Ms. Lori said...

When you tire of others’ voices, their arms
Their quick-beating hearts against your own
Cloak yourself in velvet permission, allow it
To envelop your pain, in a darkened room, and
Be very still, and quiet, then

When the hour skips past midnight, and into
Morning, like a child at play, oblivious to
Your wakefulness, accept the coming sunrise as a gift, a
Gratuity for your sorrow, accept it as a gift
Wrapped in memory, and promise, then

When your body is heavy with the burden of
Remembrance, and your spirit can bear no more, or
When misery catches you off guard, makes you
Graceless, makes you tumble into the abyss, down
And away from the places you love, brace yourself, then

Listen for her calling, sounding like
The wind, a chorus of thunderheads, a crackling flame
Listen to her calling, sounding like birds’ wings, rain against leaves, like
The humming of cats, surf against shore -- the sounds of an angel, all
Will lead you back home again

Love,

Lori

radical mama said...

Ann, I am so sorry for your loss. We'll be holding you in the Light.
Venessa

Baggage said...

I am so very sorry Ann. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you or your family. My thoughts are with your family.

Andie D. said...

I'm so sorry to hear about Carol. I have never been good at expressing comfort for those who have lost a loved one. It's just so overwhelming, that I can only imagine.

Please know though that I am thinking about you and your family. And sending you big, fat hugs.

FosterAbba said...

So sorry for your loss.

Jo said...

Ann, my sympathy and tears are with you and yours as you celebrate and mourn your daughter's life and death.

David Cho said...

My deep condolences, Ann

PEA said...

Dearest Ann, such sad news even though it was expected. My heart and prayers are with all of you. xoxo

wen said...

i am so sorry for your loss.

sending big healing vibes your family's way...

wen

The Mama said...

I'm so sorry Ann. There are no words that can possibly bring comfort, just know you and your family are thought of and loved.

Alice

Jane said...

I came over from Baggage's blog, and I too am sorry for your loss. I will include you and your family in my prayers.

Mary said...

My heartfelt sympathy to you and your family.

tina said...

I'm so sorry, Ann.

Hope4future said...

I'm so sorry. :-(

thordora said...

I am so so sorry Ann. I wish I could find the right words.

You're in my thoughts.

medea said...

I am very sorry for your loss.

Susan said...

Oh, Ann, I'm so sorry. I will keep all of yopu in my prayers.

Jen said...

I'm so very sorry for your loss. We'll be keeping your family in our thoughts.

Melissa in TN said...

I am over from Baggage and Bug. I am so sorry for your loss.

Nvisiblewmn said...

Much love to you, too, Ann, and condolences.

cape buffalo said...

Ann,
you are always so kind and supportive and gracious with everyone else. Please know that your virtual community loves you and grieves with you and your family.

God bless.

Janice said...

Hi Ann,

I am so, so sorry.

You have my deepest condolences and sympathy.

Here's a hug from Madera.

Janice~

XX_CHAINEDDOWN_XX said...

Hi Ann,

I'm so sorry to hear about Carol, but think about this way, she didn't die in terrable pain. be glad.

Some people belive that holding on makes you stronger, but I belive that leting go make you stronger.

much love to Carol, Ann, Ray, Rochelle, Rebecca, and Elcie

Love XXCHAINEDDOWNXX

merseydotes said...

Ann,

I am so sorry for your loss. I hope that the kids can be a source of strength and joy for you in the coming months when you need it most.

merseydotes

Andrea said...

I know that no words can help Ann but you and your family are in my prayers and heart.

Lisa V said...

I am so sorry for your loss. Deeply.

Robin said...

Our prayers are with you.

Mark D said...

I can't think of any words to express my sympathy and support, but I know someone who may come close:

Every blade in the field,
Every leaf in the forest,
Lays down its life in its season,
As beautifully as it was taken up.
--Henry David Thoreau

My thoughts are with you ...

peppylady said...

A hug to you and your family.

Sheri said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Thinking of you and your family. Hugs to you.

Atasha said...

I read this earlier and was too sad to comment. My condolences to you and family Ann. We're thinking about you in this time of sorrow.

bine said...

ann,
i wish i knew what to say. i’m sorry for your loss. i’ve seen loved ones pass and i know it can be a relief when the suffering finally ends. i hope you and your family find peace and strength in each other.
my best wishes.

karrie said...

I'm glad that the end was peaceful for her. I cannot imagine how difficult this must be for you Ann to lose your daughter.

As much love, peace and happy thoughts as can be sent via the internets. :)

Penless Thoughts said...

My heart goes out to you. To say I understand would be hyprocity because I've not walked in this path you are walking. But I can say I care very deeply and hurt for you.

He will wipe away ALL our tears.

Susan

Kristen said...

Ann, I'm so sorry for your loss. I feel awful that I've been so out of the loop. I hope you, Ray and the girls are doing as well as can be expected at a time like this.

Midori said...

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your daughter Ann. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

Trope said...

Oh, Ann, I'm so sorry. We're never quite ready, no matter how long the fight has been. I wish we could take a little of this pain up for you. Take good care of yourself and your family during this time, and know that our thoughts are with you.

Jeanette said...

Hi Anne. Words seem inadequate on the sad loss of your dear daughter, My deepest sympathy to you and the family .

CappyPrincess said...

The thoughts and prayers of our family are extended to yours at this time, along with the many others.

CeCe said...

Ann, I just saw your comment on Gwen's site and I wanted to express my condolences to you and your family. I'm so very sorry for your loss.

Ba Doozie said...

I hope you find peace in knowing what a difference you must have made in her life, because of who you are and what an awesome person you are. She was lucky to have a mom like you and beautiful grand kids that are also a result of your efforts.

Aunt Jo said...

Oh Granny I am so sorry for your loss.

God please watch over this family in their time of grief. Please help them to cling together in love as they journey forward. Let them know that you love them and that You are with them, even in their sadness.

On behalf of the Joe Family,

Aunt Jo

Kimberly said...

Ann, I am so sorry for your loss. I'm relieved that Carol is at peace, yet gutted that you've been forced to outlive your child--no mother should have to face that.

I can't hug you, so I'm hugging my Ladies instead. Somehow, the squabbling and the whining seem so much less irritating right now.

All my love to you and the girls.

Sharon Damnable said...

Dearest Ann,

I am so sorry to learn of your loss.

Love and best wishes to you and your family.

~big hugs ~

All my love

Sharon

"Early Bird" said...

Love you Granny Ann and am praying for you during this time!!

Angel said...

My dear, beloved "Granny".....I am SO very sorry :*( (((((tender hugs)))))) Our hearts and prayers are with you & your family.

Arti Honrao said...

Don't know what to say ...
Just praying.



Regards
Arti

M&Co. said...

Peace be with you.

Ann said...

Oh {{{{Ann}}} I'm so very sorry for your loss. I can only imagine how you must be feeling (even though I'm late finding out). This is something that no parent should ever have to go through. You and your family will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.

Arwen said...

I just read about your loss over at Kara's site and I cannot imagine the complexity of emotions you are feeling right now. You and your family are in my thoughts. Tonight I will hug my daughter especially tight and think of you.
hugs...arwen

oldwhitelady said...

I'm sorry for the sadness and loss you've had to go through. It's never easy to see a loved one pass on. My sympathies to you and your family.

Josie said...

Ann, I haven't been visiting many blogs lately, and so I popped by to say hello to you tonight, and was so sorry to hear about your daughter, Carol. I pray she's at peace now. And she isn't suffering anymore. Take care of yourself. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Josie

Caitlin said...

Ann, I hope that you and your family find peace knowing that your daughter is safe -- and that she will always be with you all, everywhere you go.

You will be in my prayers tonight; my deepest condolences to you and your family.

Caitlin

the weirdgirl said...

Ann, I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and the girls. Take care.

mo-wo said...

Much love to you all from us. Take care of yourselves and hope you can feel our wishes for you for peace and strength.

Thoughts and blessing for Carol that she finds rest with the Lord.

Emma Sometimes said...

Oh, sweet Gran,

My heart and prayers go out to you and your family. I am so saddened by your loss. I'm sure this a relief that she is now at peace and no longer in pain. I'm praying for God to give you and yours comfort in this time. If there is anything I can do, please don't hesitate to ask.

Big hugs,
~Ems

Madcap said...

XOxoxoxo....

Merle said...

Dear Ann ~~ Yes, the blessing is that you can my friend. Be strong
and know that so many of us care and
feel your pain. Much Love, Merle.

MaryP said...

Comment boxes are so inadequate for this sort of thing, which really requires a hug, hand-holding, silent sympathy, and home-baked meals brought by loving friends.

Imagine all those from me.

Ingrid said...

consider this a virtual drop off for a casserole dish and big hugs and kisses and shared tears,
love
Ingrid

Lavender said...

Now I feel bad for taking a few days off... I am so sorry for you. It is hard to find words to say. I remember getting lots of hugs more than words when my dad passes away.


{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}

PI said...

May Carol rest in peace and may you be given comfort and peace of mind and strength to cope.
I'm sending you warmest wishes and cyber hugs.

Gail said...

I'm sorry for your loss. It is hard I hear to lose a child no matter what age. I pray for the peace of God to be w/you. Your daughter is in a happy place now.
Love Gail

Owens Family Adventures said...

I am so sorry for your loss. My warmest thoughts, hugs and prayers are going out to you this day.
Take care and God Bless,
dawn

Jacy said...

Hi Granny:

You have been so kind dropping me the odd note of support and encouragement during my tough time, and I had no idea what was going on in your life til I read through your blog just now. I am so, so sorry for your loss. What an awful time. Yet you seem so strong, kind-hearted and wonderful, despite what you're going through. You are an angel in the lives of your grandchildren! Hang in!

With love and deep admiration,

Jacy

cluttergirl said...

Anne, I am so sorry. I just heard about it now at Baggage's. I also don't know what to say. May you find peace, and may Carol also be at peace forever. My condolences.

smilnsigh said...

Ann, I don't know you, but said that you were grieving. And I came over to leave a little message. No need to reply to me, in any way. Don't worry about any reply.

I can never think of words of comfort, at a time of sorrow. And so I usually just give a warm hug. And I would give you many a warm hug, if I could.

Hugs to you Dear,
Mari-Nanci

Val said...

Dear Ann, as others have said, no need to reply to us, but do take whatever comfort you can in knowing that there are so many of us who have you in our thoughts.

Jobthingy said...

Granny and Family,

i am sorry to hear about Carol. my thoughts are with you and yours at this time.

*hugs*

Merle said...

Dear Ann ~~ Thank you for the tip about spam. I did know, but hadn't seen it at that stage.

I hope you are coping well my dear friend and the girls are also.

Would it be too sad for you to post a photo of Carol - at any stage of her life, as a child or whatever?
Much love, Merle.

Meow said...

Ann, my thoughts are with you and your family at this time. I am so sorry for you loss.
Take care, hugs, Meow

Mom2Many said...

I am new to your blog, but wanted to say to you how sorry I am for your loss.

RUTH said...

I can't imagine how you must be feeling so shall do no more than send you a {{HUG}}; I lost my husband a month ago to cancer and know how much the kindness and support of my blog friends is helping me.

Ms. Lori said...

Still thinking of you, Ray and the children, Ann.

I am honored and touched by your comments to me the other day...

Jane Doe said...

Although I am a new reader of your blog, I am ever so saddened by this news. My heart breaks for you and your family. I will hold you close in my thoughts and prayers.

Shrink wrapped scream said...

Ann,
please don't try to respond. I just called by to let you know I'm still thinking of you, and holding you in my heart and prayers. x

J at www.jellyjules.com said...

No need to reply to this, you have so much going on right now. But please know that my thoughts are with you and your family, and that I'm terribly sorry for your loss.

WSRF 8th grade said...

Ann,

I have been thinking of you and your family so much for the past days. I am so sorry for your loss. You are surrounded by so much love, please remember that.

My love to you,

Heather (Caloden)

Cecil said...

Ann, I am so sorry for your loss.. you are in my thoughts and prayers.. CECIL

Kendra Lynn said...

Dear Ann:
I was so sorry to hear of your loss.
You and your family will be in my prayers.
Know that I hold you close in my heart.

Kendra

Beth said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. Peace be with you and yours.

Amanda. said...

Much love and prayers to you and your family.

Nancy (Mom Ma'am Me) said...

Ann, I am so sorry to hear about Carol's passing. I know you and your family have been through some very difficult times during these last months. Please know that you all are in my thoughts and prayers.

stefanierj said...

Oh, Ann. I knew what to expect when I finally got around to catching up, but I didn't think I'd be so overwhelmed with sadness. I am so sorry that you didn't have more time with Carol--the amazing person she was is a testament to her mother, I think. I'm just sorry we didn't have her for longer.

So much love coming your way.