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Wednesday, April 19, 2006

I Can't Resist Sharing This - Regular Boring Post Follows

I was just looking through my mailbox and spotted this. I was afraid I'd forget it tomorrow so I'm adding it here. My former neighbor sends me a lot of pics and jokes - some have already appeared here. This is another of her contributions:

(Just looked behind me - a Rebecca is sound asleep in my bed and a cat is sound asleep in my chair. Now what?)

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods... (Is there a special category of Darwin Awards for these? - Ann)

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)(Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)


Janice said...

Hi Ann,

Thank you for your comment too.

This is crazy, and I read on a bottle of shampoo wash rinse repete, but it dosen't say how many times?


Alice said...

My favourite is the last one, and the one about the Sainsbury's nuts. I've seen a similar example myself on a box of Tesco's Free Range eggs:

"WARNING: may contain eggs"

(Gee, ya think?)

Thanks for that Ann. I needed it.



Lindsay Lobe said...

Hi Ann
I am posting a belated Birhday poem for you.

Sorry to hear Ray is not well. I fractured my Elbow and out of routine at the moment, suitably plastered.

Your Birthday I think is the first since becoming a Blogger ?

Anns Bithday Poem

Time for your special birthday bliss
Bloggers oasis a Bloggers best wish

Steadfast in beliefs and fairness for all
Bloggers add to her growing blog role

Her blog is a dream,to unite one in all
Oasis of thought for bloggers who call

Grandchildren’s delight, her life, their light
Hearts so dear it lights up our night

All I can do, bid birthday cheers
Warm suns rays to banish your fears

Ray I trust can make a fresh start
Join the toasts to toast your sweet heart

Best wishes

granny p said...

Belated birthday greetings...
Oh and I do like these. Are they all as stupid as their instructions?

madcapmum said...

Hee! That's what I needed to read this morning!

Jacqui said...

Thanks Ann, I was reading your post and lol so Walter had to come and find out what was making me crack up, he lol as well. Your right people do get paid to write that stuff.
Do you remember the Health guy I mentioned the other day, well he just got caught for speeding, again, and is about to loose his licence. And we are paying this guy $600.000 a year to run one of the most important jobs in the state.
cheers jacqui

Expat Traveler said...

yeah these have been around for a while but they are so funny every time. Funny enough is that most of this would never be put on a label in europe because of the common sense law... Those only take common sense to figure out...

pissed off patricia said...

Before coming to visit you today I read a very moving and sad post at another site. I came here still feeling sad. Reading these made me do more laughing than crying.
Thank you so much!
See, I'm smiling again :)

Dem Soldier said...

"On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)"

Lol.....This is one is big looool.

Hope the day is going well Granny

Babble said...

Ha ha Keep out of children.. ggrr darn it!

Kathleen Callon said...

These are cute. The Superman one is kind of like saying there isn't Santa, though... you'd probably get a kick out of They have some funny stuff, but some of it's questionable for kiddies' eyes. Hope you are well. How is Ray?

Feathers said...

Those are very funny, got to wonder if some people could really be that dense.....never mind, question answered....LOL

Jenorama said...

Ha! I need to send those to my dad. He will love them!

Hey, let me know on Friday if you need help with the paperwork-- it is very confusing, yes.

Sothis said...

What is really scary is that some people NEED those directions.

Great blog!

Mary P. said...

I loved the tiramisu comment. Had me laughing out loud.

So, what happened? Did you sleep standing up??

country-gospel-singer said...

These are cute. Janie Marie